Burst of feelings...

Unfortunately... with big diet comes big responsibilities... As a person who never stood hungry for so long... a person who never even thought of applying a diet; I had my first major problem. I am never full in the stomach... My diet is very tense... First week had no meat... This week have 120g of meat only at dinner... 120g is 3 small meatballs or half a fish... 

Today I was with my father all day. I couldn't even eat all my diet on time and fully... When i came home i felt so had... angry, sad, shocked, and most importantly dead... After eating some small diet stuff felt a little better. I acted so inpatient, so rude to whoever I spoke to... I drove 80 kilometers to and back to home... Since i felt so bad i drove fast and felt like i was i a car racing... Nearly got in two radars on my way back. Got lucky since cops where having their meal when i passed them. 

Todays lesson: Never eat less than what my diet lets me. Never miss times or i became someone i am not !!!

Date: 05.24.09

Cnr...

Weird...

Came back from living room. I was shocked. There was a pigeon on my bed. We had a second to see each other... Than the pigeon rushed out of the window. Most weird part of all is the blind was more than half down allowing only the size of a pigeon to get in... Both scared... unexpected... Poor thing hit the blind tryng to get away in a rush... It will survive though... stil can fly perfectly. In our culture pigeons are considered a sign of good luck. Seeing one on my small bedroom like this made me feel weird...

Date: 05.15.09

Cnr...

Dissapointment...

Today I went to a shopping mall with my cousin. We checked many cloth stores such as Mavi, Levis, LCW, quicksilver, billabong, etc... I had no intention of buying anything. I like to check everything and buy only the ones tht I really like. Same with clothes, books, glasses, electronics, etc... In one of the stores we saw a quicksilver short which was marvelous. I had no intention today but the moment I saw it I wanted it. He gave me a L size short. Me and my cousin both tried the L sized short. There was when the huge dissapointment hit me. I could tie the button but it was too tight. I asked for a larger size but the guy told me tht for tht short they don't have any XL size. I felt really bad since I wanted it so badly. On the countrary my cousin was luckier and the short looked good on him... For the first time i cursed at my fat ass... This diet will help me go back to where I really wanna be... I wont miss an aportunity next time... I stil want tht short but cant buy something tht i cannot wear...  

Date: 05.14.09

Cnr...

Mother's Day...

Today is May 10; mothers day. In the morning we had a lovely family brunch near the bay. That was fabulous. Weather was so clean, no clouds, soft wind, soft flower scent in the air... I felt a day from heaven... 2-3 hours enjoying the family gathering where we had 3 moms including mine. After the brunch we went to see my grandma... Had a great soup... Over-all it was a great day. I had the chance to reach V after so many different attempts. I felt very happy to hear her voice. The quality of the phone connection was very weak; bearly understood what she was saying and had to make her repeat many times to understand but stil it was better than nothing. Couldn't talked to her too much, she was busy and had no time for me. Tomm i will see the dietist for the second time and he will take some blood from me to see my blood glucose and other necessary stuff to decide on my daily diet. He said tht my normal kilo for my age, sex, and height is 75 kilos. I am now 95 kilos. I got 3 months to loose 20 kilos. Dietist said that i can easily loose tht if i obey his program carefully. I will do my best and go back to Canada 75 kilos; just like last year. Everyone will be so amazed to see me so thin... I am doing this just beacuse of health problems i can encounter soon... I really don't care how i look... I believe in inner beauty, therefore my outter appearance is not so important for me. I never cared too much what others thought about me. Therefore i found my own style and beliefs... I miss my baby geckos. I know tht they are in gud condition. I heard tht they are not eating properly. I am hoping tht they start eating normally soon. They need to get used to their new cage... I am learning how they are from my roomie on msn. This month i will ask him to send me some photos from msn so tht i can see their growth... I dreamed of getting these 2 female geckos for nearly 2 months. Getting a pet for my own for nearly my entire life. Independant from my family. I remember telling myself tht i will get a pet as soon as i have my own place. I kept my word and did get a pet after 2 days of having a place for my own. My dream pet was a dog or a cat. Never imagined a lizard would be my first pet... I cant afford caring a dog or a cat and pets are forbidden. I can never hide those. Caged animals are the only solution if u are forbidden to have any sort of pets... =) The only think that i am sorry is that i had to leave the country for 4 months after getting the 2 female geckos. I couldn't even stay for 24 hours after purchasing them. Took lots of photos but never the same thnig. Knowing tht someone is taking a good care is relaxing but i wanna see them... Those are not the only females tht i am missing to see... I am telling my parents tht i need to go back earlier this time so tht i can purchase furniture for my bedroom before the classes start. Not a lie... Tht is true... the exaggeration is the only thing, i say tht i need to be there 30 days at least to set my home and adabt to the place. I wanna see my geckos and not only geckos ofcourse...

Date: 05.10.09

Cnr...

...

tears... no reason...

Date: 05.07.09

Cnr...

Finally in my home country...

My last blog I have written is April 29th dated; today is May 6th. All this time I had no wireless from my laptop, I could access the internet through my mobile. On April 30th at 6:00pm we moved our boxes and other stuff to our newly rented three bedroom apartmant. We didnt sleep there that night since I had to check out from my residence 11:30am the next morning. After my check out is completely done we grabed a few things including the blankets we left to sleep with. On May 1st I had an appointment at 2:00pm to purchase the two crested geckos that I've put on hold earlier. After learning that they don't accept credit or debit I had to cancel the meeting to 2nd where I can get cash to pay them. It occured to be a smart idea since it turned out to be a long waste of time making the contract for the 1 bedroom apartmant for 2 months. The 3 bedroom one will come available after 2 months. After all the paper work is complete we decided to walk around the apartmant to see what stores we have around. We went to many different stores including convention stores, dollarama, chinese supermarket, indian supermarket and etc... We had our lunch in a pakistani restaurant. We ordered lamp meat each. The food was way more spicey than we expected and also way too hot to eat... The owner figured out we were having a hard time with it and brought us a different kind of sweet... After that we ate the lamp meat which was delicious. We  were tired and went back to our apartmant room. We had a complication as I anticipiated that it is gonna be a day without any trouble... impossible... so the problem was the key they had was a master key... they tried to change the door lock completely but failed to get the right one. They ended up giving us the master key instead until they got us an appropriate one. May 2nd we woke up around 12 and took the transit to the subway. Then from there we went to the warden station which was the one before the last stop. We got another transit and after 7 stops we ended up infront of the gecko breeders house. Quite a long way to scarborough... We stood there around two hours, we checked all the reptiles they had on display. They turned the living room into reptile display. I met my two beautiful ladies for the first time... Hehehe can say tht love at fiest sight... I hold them on my hand all the way back... So sweet, small and fragile... Probably first female that will not hurt me in return of all the love and time i am gonna spend to them... This way my heart will not seek for other matches to hurt myself =)=). Anyways after getting them we stopped in a chinese open buffet restaurant and ate a lot of food. When we came back to the roomi introduced the ladies with their new home which i created them one night earlier... Now i am kilometers away from there and i am hopping they are enjoying their home which i created with my love... My friend agreed to look after them until i return. May 3rd was a day of running for me. My flight was at 20:00 but i arranged my pickup from the apartmant at 5.45pm so that I wont be late even something unpleasant appears. That left me with quite a few time. I walked to square one and both few things including crickets, UV light bulb, cricket powder and a weight. Weight was the main reason why i went there. I would like to weight my bags in order to check that they don't exceed 23 kilos each. I went back with a cab since i had no time to enjoy the walk back. I just finished my final packing and weighed them. I had to carry my textbooks in my cabin pack all theway to here since they would make the weight heavier than 23kilos... The man came on time and i was in the airport at 6:10pm. I found my high school friend who educates in Western Ontario University... We flew all the way home together. We didn't arranged the flight dates... such a coincidence since he is the only highschool friend who is in Ontario... Another surprise was waiting us at the check in desk. The air canada representative told us that we are in waiting list since they overbooked 20 people and we had to be lucky to get this flight. Even though my ticket was bought nearly 6 months ago he told us that they can put us in waiting list since we are in economy class. If we are to get the other plane they will pay the hotel and additional 200 dolars for the trouble they caused. We happened to get the place luckly so nothing extra-ordinary happened. The flight was really boring since half the way the touch screen made problems... in 8 hours i could only watch to movies... When we came to Munich we had 2 hours and 30 minutes before our connecting flight. My parents came to the airport. I was really happy to see them after 4 months. I drived the car from the airport to my home. All my family gathered to say welcome to me that night... Only problem was i couldnt talked to V for so long due this... I will make it up to her though... Very pleasent day for me, I saw all my family and we were back together after the new year for the first time. 5th of May i just chilled and went to see a movie with my cousin. Now it is 6th 01:36am... next i dunno... hoping sweet things are to come...

Date: 05.06.09

Cnr...