So far I am really grateful with life and all that I have and I don't have. I pray for the health and happiness of my family and all my loved ones. Through the years I've lived I learned one thing: that life is nothing if u don't feel happy. Even if you are rich, that doesn't help. Nothing can hold the place of a good friend, a companion. Life would be unbearable without them. Funny when we think that we know everything, experienced everything... So far I've tasted love, feeling n needing so badly for a single smile upon her face; thought I would do anything for her. Lost my line of thought and taste of life thinking about someone else. Tasted the bitter taste of loving someone without anything in return. Even helped my loved one with her love... So painful, yet couldn't bare seeing her the way she was. Wanting to help her with all my heart; a heart which no longer beats for me. Finally time healed what is left of the fire. Another two years have past so that it can restore itself. Now I look back and say that it was a different experience. Where you can love and hate someone so badly that it becomes addictive. Funny to see that I am once again ready to let my heart free of it's chains. I know that I am gonna burn once again but I really want to; and I need to. It's been just too long since my heart didn't beat for anyone else. My eyes haven't tasted anyone else's. My hands wanting to explore. I wanna burn once again... Feel comfy. I guess I have to trust once again, so hard to accomplish once its been mistrusted but necessary for a new beginning. I wanna swim in the blinding see of love, feel its warmth, and taste its bitter sweetness once and for all. As I leave one other year behind I am wishing the health of my loved ones and a person who I can trust and be together. Feels nice to know I am not alone; I can share anything without thinking any consequences. Love I beg u, come and surround me. I beg for u to change the beat of my heart... Wish is made, candles blown, finders crossed, and satellites turned on for any opportunities.
With every passing year my responsibilities seems to increase. I don't know what to make of this. Its nice to be able to stand on my own feet. I want to work soon. I want to experience different things with different people. For the first time in my life I've become an uncle. I wish her health and good fortune. I hope she turns out to be a really special person. It is scaring me to see that as the new members start to come into the family old ones seems to pack their belongings... Just to sad to know that one day I may not be able to see, speak, or cry on their shoulders. Life is a cycle and once u are done with ur role u leave it for the new comers. I hope nothing bad happens soon and the order is not broken.
This year more than 100 people congratulated my birthday on facebook, some e-mailed, and few called, even fewer came to see me. I can't tell how happy I've felt. Even thought our paths are separated with many of my high school friends we can still keep in touch electronically.
I am not gonna write anything in person. I just wish that everything goes well.
"All is well."
Cinar.
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