wasted

such a waste of time. tomorrow i should be careful. time is passing, first exams and essays are just around the corner. I have to shake myself from all the negativeness that is going in my life. Yesterday night was a mess. Should never loose control like that. Drinking does no good when I am not in the mood for it. Recent events showed me once again that I should not trust people. Over n over again life repeats it's self. It is always the ones that I believe to be the closest to me. How can one be happy when it is so hard to find someone to lean when you are tired. How much value I have in others usually was or seemed to be the least value... Always thought to be self-dependend. I hate when I am suffering me with these useless thinkings which do me only harm. I so wished there would be someone who would prove me wrong. I know today is wasted, over fed like hell. just feel disgusted of myself. I'm not gonna let my feeling haunt me this time. I will let myself be sad and miserable today but when I wake early tomorrow it will be a completely new day. tomorrow will be a treat... =)