;(

Feels weird and different. I know it is wrong but I am weak. I wish that I could have some time to freshen up. Lol. Tears are unwelcomed. Feelings are unwelcome.

Thanks...

Last night when u called u actually did me a huge favour but u are not aware of it canim, thanks...

V

You told me that u would come around 5pm and I did vacuum and clean my room only for u....

Ur plans can change but u could at least text me...

2nd time that I am telling u this...

IT IS EXTREMELY RUDE

Don't give me that crap of u being a bad person. U just don't care about me.

I'm extremely sorry but that was the drop that made the glass spill.

I tried way too hard to take everything simpler especially his year but I am fed up seeing my value in your eyes.

I really respect and love you but all these things that happened recently I no longer believe that I exist for u.

The reason I am writing it all down here is because I am f..kn tired of trying to explain and change things with us... Won't be picking ur calls or reply any text message u might be sending me for awhile.

I have nothing to explain or hear from you about this, I believe u need a time alone to decide how you are treating me. After some time if u come up with something fresh to say, i will then listen to u in a face to face conversation.

Untill then TC canim and study hard. If I don't see u at all until u go back to India, just know tht I've been trying too hard and done...

Always smile and remember that it is only u that can make urself sad and down.

Be careful with him & really do take care canim...

..

Just tired of thinking and saying the same things...

whatever...

gonna push my limits tonight... see what happens... curiosity kills the cat. I'm lucky that i am not a cat then... lol.

Where the HELL are they????

Thoughts changing, mind no longer sharp. Basic needs... Pain

All the verbs are dancing at about the same level.

Gotta happen pretty damn soon, or

hopes up, as if anything else is left.

academically destroyed...

loosing it, and i am allowing the change, not as I had anticipated, this time the change is not good but rather nasty... loosing my identity, my feelings are the last pieces of me holding it together.

As my grandfather once very wisely stated "Inceldigi yerden kopsun." Meaning let it break from the point it gets weak. Meaning whatevers gonna happen will happen, flow with the wind not against it.

Funny to see the friends that are available are not always the ones that u desired initially, but whoever stands beside u and are reachable at the end of the day are your so called friends, whether u like it or not, and the change is inevitable, neither the pain..