Lies...

I am going through many different feelings lately... It is the end of the year and I have lots to do and only few days. Two major finals, moving into a new place, packing up, paying my tuition fee, etc... When there is too much to do and no time to do those things which are necessary in your life; you start getting squished under the heavy load. Then you start thinking about things you never would think in a normal daily life. Morals & ethics become questionable... Sometimes you have to lie in order to protect something bigger. Sometimes you have no choice but to protect yourself... The huge mistakes tht you've made. When tht time comes you are left with few or no options... You have to decide quickly, the decisions tht you are about to make might and most probably will haunt you down and hurt in one way or the other. When I am left with no option but to lie I feel sick in the stomach. Once you tell a lie, you have to make many more lies in order to protect your sin. If any how those lies reveal then you are doomed. You will loose all your trust and credits. Big lies comes with big consequences. You have to spend too much time and effort trying to create a lie and protect it. How far can you go like this. Something will feel terribly wrong deep inside. When your inner voice starts to haunt you, you will feel regret. Therefore once we are left with an option to tell a huge lie that can ruin our lives we have to consider all sides before taking an action. If we fail to calculate all possible consequences than we might end up suffering for what we've done.

There are other types of lies. These lies mean no harm or falsify anything. Only goal for these lies are to protect others or courage others. These are called white lies. These lies are used only to prevent the other person for feeling down and miserable. For instance you see your friend with new clothes, she seems very excited and eager to share it with you. When she asks how you found the new dress you might have to lie. You might find the dress very annoying and ugly but instead you tell her tht she looks very pretty in her new clothes. This lie means no harm but to protect the happiness of the girl. 

In this short period of time I had a chance to consider about lie... The reason for it is something which happened today. I had to make the decision once again. I am terribly sorry tht it was not a case whether or not to choose a white lie. I am not quite sure if I am to make tht lie. I have never felt so trapped in my life. Being hopeless makes humans do awful things. I have too much to loose if the lie reveals. If I choose not to lie than I will be in a severe situation where I am no longer trusted. God help me make the right decision... Everything in this life is for humans;  us. From every mistake we learn something very sacred. That lesson I gained today is a kind of lesson where you can never learn in a classroom. I am so scared of what is to come next... I hate to lie but sometimes I have no better option. Whatever happens next, I learned a very valuable lesson and will never put myself into this position again. If I choose to lie I hope I can forgive myself for this cruel sin. I will try my best to avoid making it...

Miracles do exist... They happen when you least expect them...

Maybe... maybe... maybe.......

Date: 04.27.09

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